Our friends over at Smile Makers have generously shared their expertise and wisdom with us about sex, self loving and how to get acquainted with the best parts of ourselves. We guarantee you’re going to love this wonderful guest post from Smile Makers as much as we did.

Sexual pleasure has documented benefits to our overall health, both physical and mental. When we experience sexual pleasure, our body releases a cocktail of hormones that have beneficial effects for our bodies.

For our physical health…

First, they counteract the effects of cortisol, the stress hormone, which can have negative impact over the long-term on our health (increased risk of cancer or heart disease). It is also suggested by some studies, including one conducted in 1999 among US college students, that it can help boost our immunity. What this study found was that students who had sex more often once or twice a week had immunoglobulin A levels 30 percent higher than those who were abstinent.

These hormones also help relieving pain, especially menstrual cramps. A research conducted in 2002 in the U.S concluded that sexual activity and orgasm during menstruation has a potentially protective effect against endometriosis.

… and our mental health

Finally, the hormones we release when we climax foster a better sleep, thanks to the surge in oxytocin and endorphins released when we orgasm. These hormones also impact positively our mood.

It is also worth noting that more specifically masturbation has beneficial effects on self-confidence and boundary settings. When we are able to give ourselves pleasure, that puts us in the driver seat of our sex life. That makes us more able to communicate to our partner what we like (because we simply know it better), and it also makes us more aware of how pleasurable sex can be, hence it can level up our expectations towards our partners.

And it shines through!

It would also seem that an active sex life can preserve our youthfulness! A study conducted over 10 years and involving more than 3,500 European and American women and men examined various factors associated with youthful appearance. Those who look between 7 to 12 years younger than their age were labelled as “superyoung” and one of the strongest common denominators between them was an active sex life (on average, 3 times a week!).

It’s not just what you think

Starting by debunking some myths

Taking care of our sexual wellbeing is not just about having sex, having sex is not only about sex with a partner (solo sex counts as well!), and having sex with a penetrative partner doesn’t have to be about penetration (oral sex IS SEX!)

Holistic approach of sex care

Our experience of sex is tied to so many aspects of our lives. The way we relate to our body, the way we value and validate our needs and desires (not just sexual ones), the way we communicate with others and especially our sexual and romantic partners, the way we get in touch with our emotions… That’s why taking care of our sexual wellbeing is not only about physical, sexual activities.

Here are a few non sexual activities suggested by Smile Makers that you can do to take care of your sexual wellbeing

1. Look at your sex. If you remember SATC, at one point Samantha (of course, that’s her) hands out a mirror to Charlotte for her to look at her vulva. A similar scene is featured in Little Fires Everywhere. We’re taught to feel ashamed about our female genitals. How do we expect to make them happy if we ourselves ignore them?

2. Draw your vulva. It doesn’t have to be an exact representation of it. It can be abstract, as long as it expresses how you feel about it and as you can make it into something you find something beautiful.

3. Journal about your sexual self. What makes you feel sexy? What makes you feel aroused? What did you like the last time you had sex? What didn’t you like? What is it that you LOVE about your body? Making the time to reflect on these things helps you validate your likes, desires and needs.

4. Embrace your fantasies. Fantasizing is perfectly normal. Indulge in some daydreaming, read erotica, or even write down your own fantasy as an exciting story. You don’t have to enact your fantasies if you don’t feel like it, but that doesn’t mean you should silence them.

5. Know your anatomy: read about the clitoris, the vagina, follow some sex therapists. You’ll be amazed by how much sex education has left out and all this precious, life-changing knowledge that you can find out there!

Getting hands-on

Now, if you want to get more physical, the Smile Makers team also has some tips!

Explore your erogenous zones: our body is scattered with touch receptors, some sensitive to light touch, some sensitive to deep pressure. Erogenous zones are areas of the body that when stimulated send impulses to the cortex and areas of the brain responsible for sexual pleasure. You can do so with your hands, a feather, a tongue vibrator…

Enjoy your clitoris. The clitoris is an amazing organ and it plays a CENTRAL role in female pleasure. By it by yourself or with a partner, explore all the ways you can stimulate it. It can be licked, massaged directly or indirectly with orbiting movements. You can add layers of fabric if direct stimulation feels too much. You can use your hand, your partner’s, a cushion, clitoral vibrators,.. Oral sex is also a delicious option on a clitastic menu!

Re-discover vaginal sensitivity. Did you know that the lower third of the vagina contains 90% of its nerve endings. It is worth spending some time stimulating it, instead of “rushing in” with your vibrator or if you’re having sex with a penetrative partner. Then, if you are curious the infamous G-spot, this erogenous area up the front wall of the vagina where the vaginal walls come in contact with the internal structure of the clitoris, this is more easily done with fingers or in some positions that focus the stimulation on one area. Studies from OMGYes suggest that prolonged and intense stimulation of that spot is often needed to unlock the pleasure potential of that zone.

Don’t put up with pain or even discomfort. Skin friction can be quite unpleasant on our sensitive vulva and vagina. Pain during penetrative sex is also very common, but that doesn’t mean we have to accept it. Use body-safe lubricants to focus on the good stuff while protecting your most sensitive skin!

Smile Makers are an incredible pleasure positive, fem-tech brand. With their no-taboo attitude that we should all aspire to have, they are bringing women’s sexual health, pleasure and sexual education out into the open. Click here to learn more about Smile Makers and checkout their incredible products.

sex care guide